If I'm ever going to learn to ski, I guess I should do it now

Today I blew my nose with a napkin from Weinerschnitzel that I had left in my desk. All I could smell the rest of the day was chili dogs. It was awesome.

I spent the last two weeks reading all the comments on Youtube about Fred. But now there are like ten thousand more and my eyes hurt so I'm going to stop. Judy is such a brat! Bye!

Overheard:
"Did those femurs get delivered yet?"
and
"Don't tell me, she asked for jelly donuts and a fuckin' whiskey."
One was at the warehouse next to me, that supplies orthopedics, and one was at a bar. This would be way more interesting if I had to tell you which was where.

I've been getting kind of ticked recently because I can't see the whole Office. I guess it's being broadcast in a widescreen ratio, because I can't see the sides of the picture. Did I bring this up already? I meant to. Anyway, my 20" tv that I bought about 9 years ago doesn't support this fancy fiber optic HD signal I'm getting, so I only see, like, the middle of The Office. And then, at work, I got a widescreen monitor for my computer (also bought about 9 years ago) that we used to use at trade shows, and now my display is stretched out like a used-up prostitute. If my television had a VGA input, and there was room on my desk, I could just switch the two and then everybody would be happy. Except the prostitute.

I took some pictures a couple of weeks ago. If I was smarter, I could put a link for you to see them full size so you could really get a good look. These are at about a third of the original size. With about a third of the original detail. Guess what they are.












Scroll down for the answer. But only one line, so it doesn't get annoying.

It's ice.

But guess where I took the pictures!

Matthew's Sunsplashed Goodtimes Orchestra (Of The Night)

It consists of nothing but tiny violins, playing emphatically for this guy:

Rapist would rather die than be raped

Hold on - let me dry my eyes.

Okay, all better.

Let's have a picture, then. How about trees in the fog? This is just outside of Angelus Oaks.



I like that image so much, I think I'll add a poem. I wrote it quite a few years ago but sometimes I remember it and have a chuckle.

Little Old Chinese Man and Puppy

Little puppy in the street
You better peel your eyes
If you get hit you’ll be a treat
For maggots ants and flies

You make me nervous, bite my nails
Darting out! And darting back
And then you dum-dum, chase your tail
And give me heart attack

There it goes! A bouncy-ball
And there you go, a yipping-yapping
The driver swerve to miss you all
And me in my pants crapping

You’re just a puppy, stupid pup
And me a grown up man
You go poop then eat it up
Watch out for that van!

Now you lay down on the road
And I run out like schmuck
You just watching horny toad
And I get hit by truck