Shopping Should Be Fun

I'm about to write a blog about shopping. That's weird.

It all started about 6 months ago, when I bought a suit, went to a wedding and enjoyed both. It wasn't long ago that wearing a tie would almost make me sick. Then a few months later I looked in my closet and realized I hated about half a dozen shirts that I regularly wore to work. I sold them at a yard sale for a quarter each and decided to go for quality over quantity, which is not something that comes easily to me. Once for my class reunion I spent sixty bucks on a shirt, which I hadn't done before or since. I usually go to Target and get 2 shirts and 2 pairs of pants for that money. So now I'm like, "I have terrible taste, and I end up getting stuff that I don't like. And I'm spending less, so I get MORE of it." That's just plain stupid.

Part of the problem is that I hate trying on clothes. For years I've bought pants that may or may not fit properly because no two brands are cut the same, so a 30 length is fine on some but highwater on others. No big deal - I just wear taller boots with those ones. Then the next time I buy 32s. And they're way too long. I think I wear a 31 inch inseam, but I'd have to get all my pants tailored if I want that length and I'm not to that point yet. Also size 13 of some boots is too big, but 12 is too small and most brands under $200 don't make twelve-and-a-half. Size large shirts are often too small but extra large is like a tent. Where did I get these fucked up proportions? I would whine about my right eye being good and my left eye not so much, but I think that's kind of normal. But I digress.

As my blue jeans wear out, or I just get tired of them being too short or too long, I'm getting rid of them but trying not to replace them. I did break down and try on some clothes a few weeks ago, and was able to score one good pair of pants out of four I tried on. No luck on the shirts. They looked good on the rack but not on me and I realized that trying this shit on was the way I'd have to do it from now on. The problem is that while I have the desire to wear nicer things, I don't have the ability to recognize them. I tried on a few things which seemed trendy and realized I can't even come close to pulling that crap off. I guess at 30 I need to focus on dressing like a man instead of a college student or a hick. That sounds a little depressing, but also kind of refreshing. We'll see how this ends up. Where does a guy turn for fashion advice when GQ is way out of his budget? And did I just write "where does a guy turn for fashion advice?" Son of a bitch. I should have got drunk for this one, it would have been way funnier. And you know what's even funnier? I went to open a bottle of wine just now, and all that's left is some white zinfandel that's been in the fridge for at least 3 years. So I went to have a beer instead, but there's only one left and it's not cold. So you know what I'm drinking? This must be the second full glass of white zin I've ever had in my life. It doesn't really taste like wine. And it's not really white.

So enough about shopping and fruity wines - you guys should hear what I've been listening to during my commute for the last two weeks! And at home, and at work... my car sounds like Night at the fucking Roxbury for two hours a day. Yep - 90s dance music. We're talking Real McCoy, Londonbeat, Technotronic, La Bouche, Snap, Reel 2 Real, Ace of Base and - you guessed it - Haddaway.



I'd better take it easy or I'm going to be bumping the Cascada in my Neon. A couple of mornings ago I turned on the radio and listened to regular music for a while - it was weird. Like it had been ten years since I'd heard normal rock and roll, but it was really only a few weeks. It was that morning that I heard this song, which I really liked. It isn't new, but I hadn't heard of her before so I picked up the album and it's really good. Here's the song that got me, from the album "The Story."



I think she's super-duper.

Good evening then, think I'll have another glass and put this poor bottle out of its misery.